Too Late
by leith
Summary: Is it too late for Harper?
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Too Late  
RATING: PG-13  
SPOILERS: None  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Andromeda, I wrote this for entertainment. No money exchanged hands.  
A/N:I'm not sure if this story sticks together completely as I had to leave the computer several time and I think I could have switched tenses somewher. If you notice anything please tell me, or just leave feedback anyway .

They are behind us but I can't tell know how far, it is impossible to guess in these caverns all I can hear is heavy footsteps and rasping breath echoing from all around. I can see Rommie and Trance just ahead and I know Harper is right beside me making sure that I'm Ok just as I'm looking out for him. I wonder where Tyr and Dylan are I hope they got our message, that they bring reinforcements from the town in time because we are hopelessly lost in this labyrinth of caves and I don't know about the other two but me and Harper cant keep running forever. Our pursuers know these cave better than us, they're fitter and far more ruthless.

The pounding of their feet is getting near and my breath is coming in short gasps how far have we run now? Impossible to tell, I could ask Rommie but I don't have enough breath. Where are Tyr and Dylan, they have to come soon.

Suddenly the world explodes around me, a single shot rings out and the ever present form of Harper isn't beside me anymore. I turn around and see him face down on the ground but all my brain can take in is the blood. I sink to my knees wordlessly and don't seem to register the huge mercenaries coming towards me or a second later when the wall implodes and reinforcements finally arrive. All I can think is why aren't I crying? I feel as though no tears or screaming could ever express what I felt. Have I really grown so cold and built up so many walls that I can't cry now? Now Harper has gone.

Vaguely I saw Rommie and Trance trying to push their way closer to his inert form but I knew they were too late. Just like Tyr and Dylan were too late. Tyr was trying to drag me away saying we had to get back to the Maru. Didn't he understand it was too late for anything? Harper had gone.

Finally the tears came as I tried to fight Tyr off tried to fight my way back to where Harper was but he was relentlessly dragging me, he wouldn't let go. Slowly his voice penetrated my conscience

"Shhh it's Ok shhh."

As my eyes blinked open I realised I was on my bed on the andromeda shaking and covered in sweat with Tyr sitting their slowly stroking my hair. How did I get here, what is Ty doing here?

"I heard you shouting from out in the corridor" he said "I thought I should check on you."

Then it all came back to me and I felt myself begin to shake again

"Harpers gone"

I repeated over and over. Then I got angry. "

You were too late" I screamed "you should have got there earlier." By now I was beating my fists against his chest ineffectually.

"It's not too late; you had to be sedated so we couldn't tell you. He was almost dead when we got him back here but not quite. He's still critical but trance thinks he will make it."

"He's not gone?"

"No"

And then I felt my self relax. Harper was still here Tyr pulled me into a soft comforting hug and no more tears come but I know Harper will understand.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for all the reveiws  
Here is the next chpter sorry it's so short. enjoy...

Chapter 2

I looked at him lying on the bed and couldn't believe how someone who was usually so full of life could now be so still and silent. It seemed he was barely breathing and for a second I panicked but he had so many tubes and wires attached to him that I knew one of them would have picked up anything just slightly abnormal.

My eyes kept coming back to his face. It was far too pale and again I saw all the blood spilling from his chest onto the ground. I shivered and forced myself to push the sight out of my mind but I knew it would never be far away.

It had been three days since Harper was shot. Three days since I had head his voice or seen him bouncing around. Trance seemed to think that it was good for him to rest and assured me that his body was slowly healing but I couldn't believe that it could be good for anyone to stay this still for so long.

The worst thing was that I couldn't do anything for him. All I could do was sit here watching him. Making sure that nothing else happened. Nothing else I could have prevented.

Trance came in looking exhausted, she had hardly slept but at least she had caught a few hours, normally when I was sitting here. She always came in to tell me to go and get some sleep after she had rested and after the first day I knew it was useless arguing but I hated the order. I told myself that the reason I just lay in my quarters staring blankly at the wall not sleeping was so that if anything happened I could be by his side instantly; but that wasn't the real reason. I knew that if I slept I would see it all again, relieve the experience. I couldn't do it, couldn't see him shot over and over again, I wasn't strong enough.

The solution was simple I wouldn't sleep at all. It had worked for nearly 72 hours now but I was getting exhausted and could feel my eyes drifting, every so often I had to pull myself back to the present. I knew I had to stay awake. That I couldn't and wouldn't go to sleep, but my body longed for the rest and healing. The rest and healing I knew wouldn't come; there was no healing in bloodstained bodies. I had to find someway to stop from falling asleep. So far I had been living off caffeine but it wasn't strong enough. I knew there was only one other way.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry it's so short but I seem to have no inspiration right now.

I fumbled through the cupboard, my breath quickening. I knew on some level that this was wrong, that I would be letting everyone down but I could only really focus on Harper. Quickly I mixed the ingredients and raised a shaking hand towards my face, took a deep breath, and squeezed the dropper. Almost immediately I felt the buzz shooting through my body. It was ok now everything was ok. I would keep it under control. Why didn't I do this before?

I couldn't go back to medical yet. Trance would wonder why I suddenly had so much energy and insist I slept. If I did anything suspicious she might figure it out and I couldn't let her do that she wouldn't understand, none of them would especially not the one is was most at risk from, Tyr. He'd just think I was weak with his stupid nietzschean superiority. I couldn't go anywhere near him but that shouldn't be too hard. Now I just had to wait for a couple of hours until I could go and watch over Harper again. This was so stupid I took this so I could look after him and now I cant go near him oz I took it. Oh well I'll take another dose just before I came in and then I'll be able to see it through for another few hours. God am I bored, this ship is no fun!

"Hi Trance"

"Hi **Beka** you look happy I told you rest would do you good"

"Yeah, well you were right"

"Beka are you ok? There's something… I'm probably just imagining it."

"Yep just your imagination now you go get some rest I'll keep an eye on Harper see you later."

"If your sure, he seems to be improving now we just need to wait for him to wake up."

I made sure she was well out of site before I brought out the pearly white bottle. However happy she thought I looked I still felt tired deep down. I would just have to keep increasing the dose and hope that Harper got better before it got too much.


	4. Chapter 4

Finally the end is here. Thanks for all the reveiws.

I raised the bottle towards my head for the third time in as many hours. As long as I kept telling myself that I could stop any time I was OK. I was only doing this so I could stay awake and look after Harper until he woke up. That was the only reason, I was not an addict.

Trance's voice startled me and I dropped the small bottle and it smashed to the floor.

"Beka, **Beka** where are you? Harper's woken up!"

I ran off the Maru and followed her back o the med bay where I could see Harper lying just the same way as he had been for the past week but as I stood next to the bed he weakly turned his face towards me.

"Hey boss" his voice sounded frail, like an old man.

"Hi Harper, how do you feel.

"Not too good."

He really must be feeling awful if he couldn't even make a small joke about it.

"I think you should stop talking now Harper," commanded Trance coming in. "You are still very weak. Just lie quietly."

So I sat there by his bed holding one of his hands in mine and he lay quite still for a while before slowly dropping back off to sleep and relaxing his hold on me. But I still stayed there feeling contented for the first time in too long. I was sure now that he would make it and that filled me with happiness. Then the problems started.

I began to feel my body straining out for flash, I physically needed it, and I began to remember what the withdrawal had been like the first time, I didn't think I could go through that again. But I had to stop, Harper was going to be OK and I could cope with the nightmares. Also he would notice if I was back on flash. Everybody else might have been oblivious so far but Harper would spot it as soon as he could focus on me well enough. Suddenly I realised that stopping might not be as easy as I thought.

Quietly I left and went back down to the Maru where I cleaned up the mess and made a fresh batch of flash. All the while I was agonising over what to do should I tell Dylan, he could help, I got through it last time and I'm sure he would understand. Then I pictured the look of disappointment on his face and the look of disgust on Tyr's, that I hadn't been strong enough to resist its pull. Carefully I dripped a few more drops into my eye.  
It had been a week and a half now and Harper was still only waking up for very short intervals and I was having to take more and more flash to keep the cravings at bay. I started not being able to remember how much flash I had taken and when then the inevitable happened. I couldn't remember when I had last taken any flash, I didn't have strong cravings for it but I wanted it all the time now. I began to panic and expected any moment for my skin to start burning up; hurriedly I fumbled for my small bottle and took quite a large quantity. At first it felt great but then I knew something was wrong, I couldn't think straight, couldn't think at all stumbling I made my way out of the Maru then couldn't get any further, I collapsed into a heap in the hanger bay.

My eyes blinked open, where was I, everything was too bright. Slowly I turned my head and saw I was in Andromeda's medical bay. Why was I here, was Harper alright? Then it all came back to me and I stifled a cry. All the chemicals must have been washed out of my bloodstream but I was still craving it, just not with the same physical urgency. Somebody spoke from the other side of me and I knew it was Harper. He sounded a lot better but still not quite his usual self.

"Feeling better?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, you were the one who got shot at."

"But I wasn't the only one who almost died. Why did you do it?"

"I was having nightmares, I couldn't face seeing you get shot over and over again, not until I knew you were safe. I guess I felt guilty."

"Guilty why?"

All the feelings I had been suppressing came rushing back in even though I had been blaming Dylan and Tyr for not turning up in time I knew the real reason."

"I was too late," I sobbed, " I didn't see the bullet and I didn't get over to you quickly enough."

"Sshhh, it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done."

Then he came over to me and sat down beside my bed and held my hand. I tried to protest that he was too weak to be out of bed but he wouldn't listen and just sat there and eventually I let my exhaustion overtake me safe in the knowledge that there would be no more nightmares.

When I woke again I saw Dylan, Tyr and Harper all standing in a corner talking. They noticed I was awake and came over to me then to my astonishment they apologised to me one by one, saying they should have noticed sooner.

Then Dylan sat down and told me that from now on they would all be aware of if I was acting strangely as he never wanted to see me like that again. I knew that it would be hard but it would get easier and this time everyone would be helping me and stopping me from falling. We would all try to never be too late again. It caused too much pain.


End file.
